Monday 17 November 2014

Friday 7 November 2014

Ketika semua temanmu punya hal lebih menarik untuk dilakukan di Friday Night ketimbang duduk fangirling-an depan layar komputer dan kamu hanya bisa mengelus dada, menghibur diri dengan pathetic-nya bahwa setidaknya kamu masih punya Harry Styles.

Wednesday 29 October 2014

Oberon di Antara Nisan Para Bintang

Mungkin suatu hari, saat tanah di bawah kakiku berhenti bergetar dan abaimu akan kehadiranku berhenti membuatku sesak napas, aku akan berhenti melihatmu sebagai Oberon yang emas, berparas halus, dan bersinar. Berhenti mengamatimu diam-diam dari rongga gelap di kejauhan seperti yang dilakukan Echo pada Narcissus. Kau bukan lagi raja peri atau makhluk yang mampu membuat bunga layu akan kecemburuan pada dirimu. Bukan lagi Smaug yang merisaukanku akan ancaman seratus lima puluh tahun. Kau akan jadi dirimu. Seonggok daging membungkus tulang yang dilapisi kulit dan bisa bicara. Manusia yang menengadah terus menatap Saturnus dan cincinnya, meyakini bahwa takdir menyimpankan sesuatu di sana untukmu, hingga kau lupa bahwa ada seseorang yang akan menghadiahkanmu palung laut dan magma gunung. Melukiskan bunyi rintik hujan dan membekukan Sahara, jika kau minta. 

Jadi, teruslah tatap kekosongan hitam itu. Sampai kau sadar bahwa dunia telah berakhir dan kau telah berhenti bernapas, menghabiskan hidupmu bermimpi mengatur ulang angkasa. Teruslah tatap sang latar gelap, sampai akhirnya kau menyadari bahwa dunia yang ingin kau pijak dan tinggali itu hanyalah kuburan bintang-bintang.


Sleman, 29 Oktober 2014


Sunday 19 October 2014

"Betapa bodohnya aku, mengira
hanya dirikulah bunga di tamanmu."

Friday 5 September 2014

Ada Cerita di Suatu Pagi

Ada cerita di suatu pagi
Tentang denting jemari
Dan hembusan angin
yang memenjarakan rindu
Mengikat tepiannya pada gerigi atap
Lekat, meski didera hujan

Cerita di suatu pagi
Melafalkan makna kulit
di atas kulit
Berkisar di pelataran rutuk
yang menganak sungai
Gemericik sunyi, menyingkap letih
yang tersembunyi

Di suatu pagi
Berkisah langit pada rumpun nimbus
Berkisah terang mentari pada Icarus
Berkisah rumput pada janji-janji lampus

Suatu pagi
Hangat menjelma jadi emas
Siluet menjelma jadi berlian
Insan menjelma jadi arang

Pagi
Saat semua pungguk, pesakitan,
tersembuhkan
Lalu kembali sekarat


5 September 2014

Siluet menjelma jadi berlian

Saturday 30 August 2014

15 Questions Tumblr Challenge (2)

If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard?


I'm still a teenager though.

Sometimes I wish someone would call me beautiful, someone who weren't my parents. However I think it is stupid and kind of creepy but really relatable for most teenage girls so that's it.

Most of the time I'd like people to tell me that I matter. Not just for social manner and sweet revelation, but because they really do think and feel that I matter. This. 

And the last, I want to be told anything people feel about me, good or bad, and how I affect them and how they want to react around me, to create any impression in my presence for certain reaction, or whether it was worth it to do so for me. Whether or not I make them feel.

I'm still a teenager though, so who knows.

Caserolle.. Eh, Casserole

Assalamualaikum :)

Sudah lama saya tidak menggunakan kata 'saya' dan menyapa dengan sok alim :p

Hufft, akhirnya selesai juga rangkaian acara akhir pekan ini. Walaupun lelah, tapi nyenengin dan banyak banget manfaatnya. Acara apakah itu? 

Apa yaaaaa??

Ceritanya besok aja ya. Soalnya sekarang mau cerita yang lain.

Ceritanya tentang casserole. Tapi sebelum kalian membaca cerita saya tentang casserole, saya harus cerita sejarah panjangnya dulu. Oke? Oke.

Saya adalah seorang fangirl. Dan sebagaimana kalian ketahui, para fangirl itu sudah biasa malming-an nggak keluar, tapi malah pada baca fanfic. Kalian jangan salah dulu. Fanfic itu bukan cuma buat seneng-seneng imajinasi ketemu artis dan blah blah blah. Ada komunitas fanfic yang 'niat' banget sampai bikin awards tiap enam bulan sekali. Award-nya nggak main-main. Teknik menulis dinilai, kesegaran ide dinilai, tata bahasa (berhubung kebanyakan komunitas fanfic internasional, jadi pake bahasa Inggris) dinilai, potrayal atau penggambaran karakter tokoh yang diperankan artisnya juga dinilai.

Ada satu fanfic di One Direction Fan Fiction yang judulnya Sugar on the Asphalt. Gula di atas Aspal. Haha. Ceritanya tentang cewek Amerika bernama Graceland Ainsworth yang berasal dari daerah kota kecil di Tennesse. Itu lhoo, daerah yang terkenal gegara musik country-nya yang rada koboi itu. Grace, panggilannya Graceland ini kabur di umur sembilan belas tahun ke London karena suatu konflik keluarga. Di London, Grace kerja jadi asisten rumah tangga sekaligus pengasuh anak dari bussinesswoman yang namanya Rebecca. Terus suatu hari Grace disuruh anterin paket sama Rebecca dan dipinjemin mobil buat nganter. Grace-nya kan bingung karena belum familiar sama daerahnya, dan dia muter-muter nyari tempatnya dan tanpa sadar dia nabrak seseorang. Seseorang itu adalaah... Harry Styles. Dan dari situlah cerita dimulai.

Monday 25 August 2014

Winter Drawing/Writing Challenge (Day 1-Sweater)

My alliance with sweaters started long ago, before I can even spell my name or count to ten or distinguish purple from a spectrum of reds. I can measure it outside the bonds of academic marks. I wore sweaters long before I can feed myself.

The first sweater of my childhood memory was one that was knitted, orange and blue with cute little black buttons on the chest as an accent. It was a little itchy but very very warm. I liked it so much that I wore them almost every night, as I cheer over the moon or the ceilings of my old bedroom, which was the coldest room in the house. It kept me warm. It protected me, hugging me just the way I like it.

But that sweater caught my earrings too often with its woolen threads. When I woke up I'd find myself pulling my earring out of the mess and as a result, the thread loosened. I ruined it, and I was only three.

Since then I asked my mom for more sweater and refuse to wear jackets. I didn't care if they were itchy or soft, because I felt like it protected me. From the haunting cold, ghosts under my bed, monsters in the cabinet, and the thoughts of the stars collapsing to the ground and then the nights went colder, untouched.

Sweater and winter, perfect match. When winter comes I'd laundry all my sweater by myself and put them in order by their thickness. Thin, medium, thick, super thick, medium. So that I can caress them over. From top to bottom and feel myself slipping away to the years that I've passed, or the years that passed me.

In winter, they'd smell like cloves and coffee beans, and maybe a little cinnamon and jasmine. That's because I go the coffee shop a lot in winter. Inhaling crisp air and letting sun leaking its light through my flesh and into my bones on the way, running my fingers on the fabrics. Just because.

They might be hidden under coats and capes, but nothing I'd rather cover myself with than its warmth. Its steady warmth.

My alliance with sweaters started long ago, and it won't end soon.

15 Questions Tumblr Challenge (1)

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?


 I'd name it Hector, or Granada. Depends on how it looks like. And if it looks like both Hector and Granada, then I'll just think of a proper ship name.

See what I did there?

Friday 22 August 2014

Real Tragedy: We Fear The Thing We Want The Most

thomas-hanks.tumblr.com

Early in the morning, when time starts poking on the clouds trying to make them move to another sky flesh, where people still need them to protect their unopened gaze, I found myself sitting on the edge of my messy bed. Exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, wondering.

Wondering that there are people in another side of the city, fearing heights and capturing lights, drinking them with their hungry eyes. That there are people who lived without choruses, sounds, only bruises and wounds. Of them who catch the stars but release them again because they don't know how to keep them. Or clueless on who to present those blazing sky stones. Because it wouldn't matter if no one knows, right?

It wouldn't because what's there to live for without a little pride? What's there to be proud of without a little leaked secret upfront?

Claudia Kincaid agreed with me. Agreeing with human beings' natural yearn. That we all need something to be proud of. A known secret.


“Secrets are the kind of adventure she needs. Secrets are safe, and they do much to make you different. On the inside where it counts.” 
E.L. Konigsburg, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

And for having something to be proud of, we have to overcome our fears.

Si Oto

Halo gaes :)

Gaes gaes. Emang ada yang baca?

Yaudah halo aja kalo gitu. Sip.

Kan jadi selama ini aku tuh setengah budek gitu.

Duh. Kan. Jelek banget kan jadinya. "Kan jadi selama ini aku tuh setengah budek gitu."
Betapa mengenaskan cara saya menceritakan ini-___-

Jadi kan sejak beberapa waktu lalu kupingku yang kiri rada budek terus sakit terus. Rasanya kayak disetrum setrum gitu. Tapi lebih sakit. (Ha-_-) Terus kan diperiksain ke dokter umum yang namanya Mbak Sekar, dan telingaku ditetesin suatu cairan yang bica berbusa dengan gemilangnya. Cairannya tuh kayak mendidih dalem telinga tapi nggak panas. Keren deh.

Pas ditetesin Mbak Sekar bilang gini, "Kalo perih teriak aja ya dek."

Aku iyain aja soalnya lagi was-was. Tapi ternyata emang nggak perih, cuma aneh gitu rasanya ada yang gerak-gerak. Terus aku malah ketawa, padahal pintu kamar UGD kliniknya kebuka dan seisi ruang tunggu ngelihatin aku. Tatapan mereka macam X-Ray di malam yang pekat gelap gulita. Menembus tulang dan mengguncang jiwa.

Kayak apaan aja..

Lupakan.

Abis ditetesin, kok telingaku malah jadi tambah sakit. Rahangku kaku sampe makan aja nggak bisa, gigiku ngilu, migren parah sampe tidur cuma satu setengah jam. Aku jadi semacam parno tidur dan parno makan. Sungguh mengenaskan.

Mbak Sekar bilang itu cuma buat ngebersihin aja. Telingaku dicuci pake cairan H2O2 kalo nggak salah. Terus sama Mbak Sekar dikasih antibiotik yang namanya Otolin.

Yaudah.

Yaudah apa?

Friday 27 June 2014

“Memory is like patches of sunlight in an overcast valley, shifting with the movement of the clouds. Now and then the light will fall on a particular point in time, illuminating it for a moment before the wind seals up the gap, and the world is in shadows again.” - Twan Eng Tan, The Garden of Evening Mists (Fall 2011)
“No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves. That's all.” - Haruki Murakami; Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman (Fall 2006)
“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” - David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas (Fall 2004)

Wednesday 25 June 2014

Unabridged Verses (Day 1)


landscapelifescape:

The Mournes, County Down, Northern Ireland
Winter Gorse (by RobIreland)


If you want to stop staring
at the late evening moon
or everything between it 
and where you sit,
I would stop being a bellwether
and take a deep breath
to take you to atop of a mount
on my own
or carry you under a rain of pure white snow
without my coat
or bring you dried big leaves and build you a canoe
and we''ll drink the light along Thames or Danube
But that's if you want to stop staring 
at the late evening moon,
and ditch your scars with it's shadow
and leave it on your past's meadow



Pic from: http: RobIreland at flickr

Monday 23 June 2014

Batholith's Curse

I am impatient
I am aflamed
My eyes burn like the tip of a cigarette
And the skin of my palms redden
While my brain ablaze in insanity
But out of all that,
I am not the sun
I blame you for this silly yearn
I blame you for the heat roaring inside of my toes
I blame you for lighting me up to scarlet traces
I blame you for drawing my scorching sense to you
I blame you for being the way that you do

c, b. e. w~
23th June, 2014

Friday 20 June 2014

The Phantom Lady

"The most beautiful, the purest light ever captured 
from the sun flees because I enter? 
Am I the dark of night? 
May your beauty forgive me if I tarry here, 
bold and discourteous, to beseech a favor from you 
that you will not grant."
-  Calderón, THE PHANTOM LADY; ACT II (1629)



Am I the dark of night?

Chasing Your Room While The Summer Lasts

"We sat on
rooftops, talking about
not talking and sipping
clichés down weathered throats,
ones pained from words we
choked on and actions we
never spoke of but instead
let hang in reverential silence
full of repressed smiles
and love that wouldn’t
-could never -
last."
-  BETTYRIZZO, CHASING YOUR ROOM WHILE THE SUMMER LASTS (Winter 2013)



Love that wouldn't - could never - last.


Saturday 31 May 2014

Of Letters and Pages

credit to lemon @tda

The literacy, musical, and gossip-sharing community 
would have something to discuss about. 


But literally, Cat Buckland couldn't be more careless about it.


Sunday 18 May 2014

Kinder Back Then

I never expect such a beautiful turning in just less than two weeks. I thought we're going to separate holding grudges and hate.

Though I did hope I'd be wrong, and now I know I'm wrong. Mostly.
They'll stick in my memories. Forever.



Looking back now
I only wish I had been kinder
...
I would say that I'm sorry if it would do any good
But to never regret means you have to forget
and I don't think that I could

- (The Weepies - Please Speak Well of Me)

Sunday 11 May 2014

Top Fifteen On My Playlist

Seems that sharing the top fifteen songs of my playlist in this blog become some kind of a routine I cannot live without, despite the fact that I don't log in as often as I used to be, so the sharing time gets more and more random. 

But we'd worry about that later and now, here we gooo



15. Michael A Grammar - All Night, Afloat

I actually wanted to include lyrics excerpt to give some preview since the "adding videos to blogger" thing isn't working. But the song is new and very less (almost not) known and no lyrics have been found. So there. Find it yourself.


14. Justin Vernon - Hazelton

"Settle up, you're calling up the pain
Sitting dead, the sinker and the string
You came, you saw, you saw her brain
Cut out all the parts that held your stain"


13. McFly - Five Colours in Her Hair

"But then she went insane,
She couldn't take the fame
She said I was to blame
She'd had enough
And shaved five colours off
And now she's just a weirdo with no name"


12. Ed Sheeran - Don't

"I told her I’m not really looking for another mistake
I called an old friend thinking that the trouble would wait
But then I jump right in
A week later return
I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn"


11. Tegan and Sara - I'm Not Your Hero

"I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart
Learning all I know now, losing all I did
I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead"


10. Now, Now - Wolf

"I would kill to be your clothes
Cling to your body and hang from your bones
But I could make a mark If you would let me start"


9. Jonathan Rhys Meyers & Steve Erdody - Elgar / Something Inside

"You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you’re shivering cold"


8. David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes

"Ain't got no money and I ain't got no hair
But I'm hoping to kick but the planet it's glowing"


7. Tristan Prettyman - Love Love Love

"We're all just lovers and takers,
Breaking hearts to make the papers.
She won't stop until we stop trying,
'Cause the reasons for your tears aren't worth crying"


6. Kimbra - Good Intent

"Nothing made you feel out of the ordinary
But the air turns sombre and the night took heed
Took you on a waltz of hypocrisy
She broke your bones, now you're lying in the dirt"


5. Aidan Knight - Margaret Downe

"So we settled down in boseman
In the corner of the world
And we raised a couple children
But we lost a little girl"


4. Miami Horror - I Look To You

"See her world lit so bright
See her bird take flight
See her face wild and charged
See her quickened heart"


3. NONONO - Pumpin Blood

"Sticks and stones won't break our bones
We're in a car on the highway
It's a magical feeling that no one's got a hold
You're a catalyst to your happiness you know"


2. Ingrid Michaelson - One Night Town ft. Mat Kearney

"Light up our memory
Never knew what they meant to me
Hold on like you gotta let me go
You're the one with the cavalier smile
I'm the one with the open mile"


1. John Mayer - Who Says

"Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?"



Basically those are what I've been listening lately. Not much different from the last top fifteen list cause I listen to this kind of songs. A LOT. If it doesn't match your taste, there's nothing I can do :p

'Till next time!

Monday 28 April 2014

Looking For Alaska by John Green Book Review


Ayee this is the review I wrote for Looking For Alaska about one and a half years ago. Quite a long time, yeah, and it's an example of one of the worst reviews you'd find. But whatever. Might as well check it out if you want to have a good eyebrow-raising YA review.


934301
Great cover, isn't it?

Summary:
Before. Miles "Pudge" Halter's whole existence has been one big nonevent, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave the "Great Perhaps" (François Rabelais, poet) even more. He heads off to the sometimes crazy, possibly unstable, and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed-up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young, who is an event unto herself. She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart.

After. Nothing is ever the same.


So guys, I just finished this book called Looking For Alaska by Mr John “mysterious girls lover” Green. Then straight to what I’ve got to say, I like the book. A lot but not quite that lot. Maybe because it’s my first (one of the first) time reading a full young adult book. Usually it’s something like Harry Potter or Chronicles of Narnia or self-help book and Agatha Christie’s mystery.

I think the version of the cover I have is the best, considering it has cool taglines, and the daisy Alaska doodled. And it’s black and realy tumblr-ish, so I felt really thankful. Tumblr girls thank quite much.

Urn, when I started out reading this book I think I didn’t have a lot of expectations. Cool taglines ended up making you disapointed. Remember Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix movie tagline? “The Rebellion Begins” or something like that. Turned out it was the worst Harry Potter adaption ever. Seriously, where is the rebellion? Even my heart pounded harder when I read the book half-sleeping than when I watched the movie with giant sound system in theathre. Sad reality.

Back to the book. When you start reading the book, you’ll meet Miles Halter, that (from what I’ve read in the book) gawky, geek boy who moved from his old public school to Culver Creek where he met Chip Martin, Takumi Hikohito, and a young lady called Alaska Young. Together they set off a journey of life in mischievousness of teenager and Miles had the time of his life with new friends, pulling pranks,  good-looking Romanian girls, and so on.

Wednesday 2 April 2014

Sebelum Aku Terjun

Purnama berpendar di sudut malam
Di atas selembar kelir biru kelam
Luruh, rendah hati, ringan, lembut, temaram
Memandang dunia yang berbaring dengan mata terpejam

Jembatan tua terbentang di atas ular air
Pepohonan bergeming, tak terusik angin
Tempat berabad lalu wanita tua merangkai syair
Alis bertaut, bermantel panjang penahan dingin

Selembar kerudung kuning terbang
Pemiliknya hanya tinggal bayangan
Letih, sang hamba Tuhan terus mengenang
Meratapi dunia yang penuh ketidakadilan

Untaian bulu aneka warna
Merak, merpati, elang yang perkasa
Cita-cita sang kakak tak pernah sirna
Hingga tubuh dimakan usia

Sepatu yang ditukar bulu ekor merak
Kerikil di bawah kaki berderak-derak
Jejak darah di jalan tanah
Terkenang sang kakak akan rumah

Peri kecil di naungan pohon kertas
Di manakah engkau berada?
Sang hamba Tuhan mendongak ke atas
Menangkupkan tangan, berdoa

Alur hidup ini, adikku, siapa yang tahu
Sang kakak mengirim pesan lewat kerudung kuning
Berharap si empunya mendengar bisikan itu
Meski kenangan telah menjadi puing

Pesan itu tak panjang, tak mengharap jawaban:

Mereka bilang aku akan masuk ke air,
yang tak lama lagi akan menenggelamkanku.
Sebelum aku terjun, aku meninggalkan ini
di tepian untukmu.
Semoga kau menemukannya, adikku,
jadi kau akan tahu apa yang ada di hatiku
saat aku tenggelam.


c, b. e. w~
April 3rd, 2014





Wednesday 5 March 2014

Linking Blinks

i.

Swept aside the lush bush
Unfamiliar tingle binding my heart
About to explode into stardusts
Crumpled, and no,
I cannot see a happy ending approaching
I need a place to lean


ii.

The air sting like guitar strings between throbbing fingers
How much could I stand the soreness of my wishes, biting and slashing
Because they are broken


iii.

Notwithstanding, my lips told me I am wiser already
I asked them, how is that even make any sense?
When my existence
Not otherwise,
Not otherwise of buzzing lights and chattering kneecaps


iv.

I tried to convince myself that I am naive.
I couldn't


v.

I guess I am just rhythm of a beating heart
A mouthful of schemes and lies
A burden
A constantly lit dried wood
But the fire never really burn


vi.

A woman once overheard my story
About how cold my hands were
She chuckled and offered me hers to hold
I took them in doubt, wearily
They were frozen


vi.

Probably I have accepted,
The differences


~c, b. e. w
March 5th, 2014

Monday 3 March 2014

Kelsey Danielle (Sebuah Apresiasi Mentah)

Sumber: artruby.com

“How can I say that I don’t know who I am when so much of me is in this soil and in the hands of so many people I love. How can I say I don’t know who I am when everything I touch is a reintroduction?” 
- Kelsey Danielle


Kelsey Danielle. Mungkin nama yang nggak akrab di telinga kalian. Atau nggak pernah kalian baca di media masa. Tapi nama ini, bagi saya, adalah sebuah inspirasi.

Kelsey. Sederhana, lembut, feminin. Artinya indah. Di Irlandia ia berani, di Skandinavia ia penjelmaan dari kapal yang menabrak pulau - misterius, tragis, bersejarah. Sedangkan di Jerman ia adalah sebuah rongga, wadah, yang didiami oleh air. Didiami, dihuni, bukan terisi.

Danielle. Dari bahasa Ibrani, berarti: Tuhan adalah hakimku.

Kelsey Danielle. Bukan nama yang disiapkan untuk diperbincangkan di tiap sudut dunia. Bukan untuk dibaca jutaan pasang mata. Bukan untuk dikenal milyaran jiwa.

Nama itu, dieja oleh si empunya, ditempatkan di sudut karya-karyanya. Di atas halaman elektronik berwarna hitam. Bukan pena yang ia goreskan. Ia menekan tombol, dan kata-kata itu tertoreh di benak orang yang membacanya.

Puisi. Kelsey Danielle menulis puisi.

Kadang puisi-puisinya kosong, abu-abu. Mengambang dengan gelisah. Bingung.
Kadang bersemburat kuning dan oranye. Menyemangati.
Kadang gelap dan pengap. Menjerit tanpa suara.
Kadang putih gading. Broken white, katanya. Indah, murni, muram.

Dan kata-katanya bergema dengan lembut. Seperti bayangan. Seperti lukisan abstrak.

Memungkinkan kita berkaca pada permukaan yang tak rata. Berkaca pada ketidaksempurnaan. Ia mewujudkan keindahan namanya. Misterius dan tragis.

"Maybe darkness is in itself it’s own form of light. Instead of teaching the world to see, it teaches how to feel." - "LIFE AND OTHER THINGS"

"Where’s the chance to say,

“I hang on to fistfuls of poetry like loose change in my pockets,
and I keep waiting for the day that the world turns upside down
so I can swim with the stars.
I’m not afraid of darkness, it’s a loneliness I can empathize with it.
It’s the blackholes like cigarette burns inside of me that get troublesome.
I walk through graveyards and read the dashes between years,
each a story I’ll never know but sometimes
I create my own.”

No wonder none of us know who we are anymore.
 - “I WAS TOLD TO WRITE AN ABOUT ME AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED”



"How to never disappear completely:
write." 
- Kelsey Danielle

Monday 17 February 2014

For A Reason

Given that you are given the life you want
     The happiness you search for
          The people you dream of
               Would you be utterly thankful,
                      Or would you want more?

Thing you should be sure of is that you wouldn't learn as much as you are in this life
We are given and should give for a reason.

Sunday 16 February 2014

Top Fifteen On My Playlist

Hiyaaa Assalamualaikum kawan!
Udah lama banget gak ngemengin lagu ya. Lagian gak ada yang baca juga sih, percuma. Tapi gak apa-apa deh, pengen share yang lagi seneng didengerin :D


15. Nova & The Experience - Dragonflies and Waterfalls



14. Arctic Monkey - Knee Socks



13. Demi Lovato - Shouldn't Come Back



12. The Strokes - What Ever Happened?



11. Passenger - Circles



10. Gabrielle Aplin - Alive



9. Metric - Lost Kitten



8. Paolo Nutini - Million Faces



7. One Direction - Don't Forget Where You Belong



6. Five for Fighting - Heaven Knows



Masuk Top five nihhh :p

5. Drake - Hold On, We're Going Home ft. Majid Jordan



4. OneRepublic - Burning Bridges




3. New Politics - Harlem



2. The Temper Trap - Down River



1. Coldplay - Clocks



Key, enjoy!

Assalamualaikum :)






Monday 3 February 2014

Inevitable Graduations

Say that these graduations are killing me. The graduation of old fears, the graduation of old wounds, the graduation of old misbehaves, the graduation of old loves. 

Never though I said I'm maturing, because the image of the constant changing these graduations bring me is way, way more dreadful than it should have been.

Fears of dispelled expectations and dreams I buried long ago in a selfish island where all my uncomfortable article lie unconscious. I am afraid.

I am drowning.

Already, when your sleep is far more peaceful than your real life, you know you crave everything your dreams contain. It means you crave more sleep. It means you crave no worry. It means you deny reality.

What is reality anyway? The whole world is just a series of individual perspectives brought together with another individual perspectives that agree with each other because these individuals perspectives are among the first perspectives being discovered by their owner. And those who discovered their perspectives later  and do not agree with previous perspectives would become 'a disorder'. 

I don't know. Let's just stop talking. But one thing.

I am drowning. Slowly. 

Thursday 30 January 2014

A Thousand Sculptures (Part 2)

          As if for him, it emerged with a slightly different impact. Her words, which just left her mouth to the mix of frozen air, shadow, and sick light, appeared as a vision of fatamorgana in a long unbeaten track under the desert’s hard sun, somewhere in his distant dream. Actually wanted to believe in it but he knew it wasn't true. And he knew nothing truer than the last. It hurt him more than the smell of death that surrounded them since the last time he caress her hair.

            Mockery at it’s best to destiny & Co, she stuck her tongue out to taste the snow for, she was sure, the last time. Crazy how sure she was at the moment, but she guaranteed she have never been that sure for her whole life. She even whispered to herself that the security of what she’s thinking and her choice felt so good. She liked it, it felt like a once in a lifetime. Then with lack of capability to hold it down, she bursted in a laughter, thinking how ironically true it was. The ‘once in a lifetime’ feeling.

            Her stupid and playful side wanted him to witness the last time she would ever taste the snow and let them melt on her tongue. He did. They laughed together awkwardly for the sake of memories and dignity. The laughter itself too, of course. If there was a possibility to fell again after lying, then it would be it.

            Their laughter weren't stopping that quick. Actually it lasted far more than necessary, especially for her. No matter how hurt her whole mouth, cheek, and stomach. No matter how it pained her back and she wanted to stop it, she could not stop laughing. The whole sureness faded for a brief moment of that laugh. She didn't know what was so funny. Whether it’s the thin awkwardness sweeping lightly while they exchanged grins, or the comfort on throwing away what people would keep even if it costs their lives, and knowing they did it together.


            

Saturday 18 January 2014

A Thousand Sculptures (Part 1)

A Thousand Sculptures

            The pain and harm was critical. Through the pale leaves and walls the howls embraced, digging deep to ears that still could hear silent promises. Those who brought to life by fear and deranged, insane hope. Promises, enveloping like a blanket, defeating. They breathed, breathed deep.

            In a land of neverending winter, those kinds of promises could be heard everywhere and everytime. Or found. Abandoned on white, frozen ground, no longer breathing. Dead. Like most of those who made them born and alive even for a short period of time, on the same land. Breathing only to learn that they would be killed soon enough.

Now, that sounds so much like them.

            Red lips bitten until they bruised. Until the redness gone in the mind, all faded to the heavy air around them, while they lied flat on their fabric-covered back, shivering. Unbearable cold immersed to their stiff bones, to their sense, to the almost hollow space where they whispered each other’s name, and the voice echoed even louder, because the space went even hollower by the time they erased and threw away what was filling it before.


            They needed to forget everything and remember only one thing. Each other. Each other’s hands, each other’s smile, each other’s warmth, and what tied them together until today, where everything started and everything ended. A soon to die promise escaped her bleeding lips. She was too careless and too afraid to take it back, letting silence took over it and tied the end for her and the whole universe that swirled her insides. Without a doubt and without a trace, her promise fell to a comma.

(Mungkin) Ini Yang Disebut Teaser

Wahhh, Assalamualaikum kaliaaaan :)

Saya kangen banget nulis blog ehehe. Tapi sekarang udah mulai sekolah, banyak kesibukan, dan saya sekarang lanjut nulis-nulis juga. Banyaaaak banget draft draft yang masih kesimpen sampe busuk di gudang folder sampe menuh-menuhin memori. Gila sebenernya pengen nyelesein semuanya terus diterbitin *eh* tapi ya kalo nggak sibuk, ya lagi nggak mood. Atau lagi capek dan butuh inspirasi.

Alesan kabeh-___- Kalo kata ayah saya, alesan itu gak usah dicari udah banyak, yang dicari itu solusinya.

YA TAPI APA SOLUSINYAAAA

Akhirnya, tak usahain sekarang malem-malem belajar, ngerjain tugas, pagi-pagi cuci piring, biar kalo pulsek abis istirahat bisa nulis. Bisa baca cerita-cerita baru cari inspirasi, denger lagu baru, nonton film. Tapi yang ada apa? Malah mulai cerita baru, nambah draft, gak selesai-selesai. Piye le arep maju-_-

Terus saya cari solusi baru. Cari gaya bekerja apa yang pas buat saya. Daaan, jeng jeng jeng jeng.. Saya butuh deadline! Soalnya pernah ada lomba cerpen sama essai gitu ada deadline-nya, dan alhamdulillah saya dapet juara walaupun gak juara satu. Hasilnya lumayan memuaskan sih, dapet hadiah pula :3 *dasar-,-

Tapikan gak tiap hari ada deadline gitu. Jadi saya mau bikin deadline sendiri, di sini. Di blog ini, blog tercinta *elus elus blog*. Gimana deadline-nya itu? Nah, gini. Tiap malem minggu saya akan post entah seperberapa bagian dari sebuah cerpen yang lagi tak kerjain. Pokoknya harus nge-post. Jadi kesannya blog ini tuh penerbit yang ngasih deadline yang harus saya penuhi. Gitu terus sampe satu cerpen selesai dan lanjut ke cerpen-cerpen lainnya. Gituuu. Kalian mau kan bantu saya dengan baca dan ngasih review di komen? Mohon bantuanyaaa :)

Ini nih cerpen pertama yang mau tak post, tapi teaser-nya dulu yaaa. Pendek kok :D


             The pain and harm was critical. Through the pale leaves and walls the howls embraced, digging deep to ears that still could hear silent promises. Those who brought to life by fear and deranged, insane hope. Promises, enveloping like a blanket, defeating. They breathed, breathed deep.
            In a land of neverending winter, those kinds of promises could be heard everywhere and everytime. Or found.